Guest Post: "Why is This Even an Issue?" My Thoughts on Same-Sex Marriage, by Jason Sticha
Jason Sticha: I don't have a personal blog or anything like that, Jarin Udom, just this Facebook account. However, I may consider creating one in the future. In the meantime, if you want to post this on such a site for other people to read, be my guest. Just be sure to give credit where credit is due (as in, keep my name on it). Not because I have anything to gain from it, but because I hate plagiarism in general.
“Really?”
That is my response every time I hear the “issue” of same-sex marriage being brought up in politics. Our economy is in the toilet, the housing market is still stuck in the ditch, and our national debt is currently somewhere between “You blew HOW much money in Vegas?!” and “I didn’t even know that amount of money existed in real life.” Yet for some reason, many people feel that “gays wanting to get married” is on the same level as all of that.
So naturally, my reaction is a sarcastic, monotone, one-eyebrow raised “Really?” With all the problems going on in America today, THIS is what we’re going to debate about? Especially now, the “issue” is constantly in the news, and much as I try to ignore it the fact of the matter is I am now fed up. Fine, you want to talk about it? We’ll talk, but I guarantee you some of you won’t like what I have to say. Then again, if my opinion on this matter is enough to make you “un-friend” me on Facebook, then you probably weren’t worth my time to begin with. In which case, I should really stop hitting “accept” to those friend requests when I’m drunk.
Anyway, gay marriage! Such a concept is unfathomable! Terrible! Downright EVIL! Right? Um, no, not in the least. I fully support the right for gays to get married (to include lesbians, by the way—just because I only say “gay” here doesn’t mean I’m counting the ladies out. Now that we’ve established I’m not spelling out the obvious for you from here on out, let’s continue). I’ve heard the reasons why many people feel gay marriage should NOT be allowed, and I find most of them silly and, frankly, bigoted. And I’m going to explain why in the next few paragraphs.
Reason #1: “It would violate the sanctity of marriage if gays were allowed to marry!”
This is a common reason people who don’t support same-sex marriage like to throw out. To be blunt, I don’t buy it. For all the talk of the “sanctity” of marriage, the divorce rate in this country still stands at somewhere around 50%. To quote the hilarious comedian Myq Kaplan, “50% divorce rate. That’s one out of two people, meaning it’ll either be YOU, or your spouse.” If people really feel that the sanctity of marriage is so paramount, why are they continually getting divorced? “Oh, well it just wasn’t the right fit,” or “Well, we got married way too young.” So? Suck it up. If marriage is so holy and sanctified, then work through your issues and stick with it. Many people who cite this reason try to back it up from a religious standpoint, but they forget that the Bible only allows divorce in very specific instances. And I’m pretty sure “I wanted to bang somebody else” or “I got married way too young” wasn’t one of them. That being said, I’m no Biblical scholar, so if anyone wants to present evidence to the contrary, I welcome them to do so.
As it stands from my point-of-view, the whole “sanctity of marriage” argument for why same-sex marriage shouldn’t be allowed reeks of a hollow political argument intended to divert attention away from a real, more logical argument. You know, kind of like the argument I’m currently presenting here. Speaking of which, I think I’ve thoroughly debunked this reason enough for one day. Moving on….
Reason #2: “It’s against [insert religion here]!”
Another common reason, and one that rings just as hollow as the first one. Funny thing about America, folks: We have this thing called “Separation of Church and State” here that’s kind of a big deal. Not only that, but this great country of ours was founded, in part, on the ideals of Religious Freedom, meaning that you can’t force anyone to follow your religion and you can’t persecute a religion you don’t like (or lack thereof, for my atheist friends out there). Full disclosure here, before I go any further: I’m a Jew. I say that because I’m pretty sure some of you will decry me as an atheist dog or something to that affect after reading this paper, and I wanted to squash that while I had the chance. Of course, now those same people will probably denounce me as an evil Jew rat or something to that affect…oh well, can’t please everybody, I guess.
Disclosures aside, on to the issue at hand. Trying to outlaw same-sex marriage because it violates the tenants of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, or any other religion is inherently wrong when viewed through the prism of the Founding Principles (ie. Religious Freedom, Equality for All, etc.) of this country. Slavery was allowed in the Bible, so should it be allowed today? That’s a viewpoint many pro-slavery people had before and during the Civil War, yet last I checked slavery is outlawed in the United States. So, there is a clear precedent set that states that (and I’m paraphrasing here, obviously) “Just because it’s ok in the Bible, doesn’t mean it’s ok in our society.” The slavery example is just one of many, but I won’t bore you with others as I think I’ve made my point clear. And in case I haven’t, the point is this: Religion does not, and should not, guide the laws of this country. If you feel differently, then move to Saudi Arabia and see how you like a country that writes it’s laws based off the dominant religion.
Furthermore, those that believe homosexual behavior is the Spawn of Satan and will be punished for all eternity are missing a crucial point to that notion: if that really IS the case, then God will sort them out in the end. You shouldn’t have to worry about condemning and outlawing gay behavior because, quite frankly, if God doesn’t like it then He’ll deal with it when the time is right. Persecuting gays and lesbians here on Earth isn’t going to alter their judgments in anyway, so why do it? Just focus on being a good person yourself, I say, and let the rest handle itself.
One last thing that I feel is very important: I’m not saying churches should be forced to marry same-sex couples if it is against their religion. Again, we have a Separation of Church and State in this country, and I have no issue with, say, a Catholic Church refusing to marry a same-sex couple in their place of worship because it’s against the tenants of the religion. That’s a religious issue within the bounds of a religious establishment, and just as I expect religion to not dictate the government, so to do I expect the government to respect the boundaries of religion within reason. HOWEVER, if a same-sex couple wants to get married in a courthouse by the State of [insert state here], I see no reason why the State SHOULDN’T marry the couple because that is a GOVERNMENT issue. And our government guarantees equal rights to all. Have I made myself clear on the matter? If anyone wants to me clarify, just so say and I will through private channels.
Reason #3: I support gays getting married, but only if they don’t call it “marriage.”
This is perhaps the reason that burns me up the most. Why? Because it reeks of “Separate but Equal” status. To me, it is literally no different than when people in the 1950’s would say, “Oh, black people can eat in the restaurant! They just have to come in through the back entrance and eat in the corner furthest from everyone else. But they’re still eating there!” Letting same-sex couples marry but choosing to call it something else, like a “civil union,” denigrates those same-sex couples to a second-class status whether you want to admit it or not. South Park satirized the concept of “Civil Unions” brilliantly in the 2005 episode, “Follow That Egg.” In it, the Governor of Colorado is addressing a crowd, and states the following:
Governor: You homosexuals will have all the exact same rights as married couples. But, instead of referring to you as "married", you can be... butt buddies. Instead of being "man and wife", you'll be... butt buddies. You won't be "betrothed", you'll be... butt buddies. Get it?
And after a member of the crowd (Mr. Slave) shouts that they want to be treated equally, the Governor says this:
Governor: You ARE equal. It's just that, instead of getting engaged, you would be... butt buddies. And everyone is happy!
I’ve had many people try to explain to me that this is not the case, that it really WOULD be equal treatment but the fact is that the word “marriage” is simply between a man and a woman, and that same-sex “marriage” should simply be called something else instead. I don’t buy it. This country was founded upon the idea that EVERYONE, regardless of race, sex, religion or lack thereof, political views, etc. had the right to fair and equal treatment. Part of that fair and equal treatment is calling “marriage” what it is—marriage. Regardless of who is saying the vows.
There are other reasons I can debunk, but I feel like I would be repeating myself. Bottom line, folks, is that I really don’t see this as a complicated matter. If you truly believe in the rights of Freedom and Equality for All, then you shouldn’t have an issue with gays and lesbians allowing to get married, in my opinion. I’m not saying you have to LIKE their lifestyle or even agree with it. But at the end of the day, isn’t everyone entitled to the same respect and decency regardless of whom they love? I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
